Journal

Hello Summer

Hello! It’s me again, after a whirlwind of a life since December. A life update is better late than never. A brief recap of all of the craziness from the last six months:

  • Daniel successfully recovered from his pulmonary valve replacement. We had a lot of healthy meals and bundled up winter walks to get his strength back. He was well enough to celebrate the New Year at a surrealist themed party at O’Connor Brewery and we spent the first day of the New Year being thankful to be together in our home, and having sushi!
  • We started wedding planning! Probably the biggest test to our relationship has been planning and finalizing a concept for our wedding. I really worked on my compromising and listening skills to get to a good place where I actually enjoyed working on our wedding. At first, I was totally against spending money and having lots of guests. We changed the location several times. But now we have our venue, coordinator, and photographer booked! I enjoy working on the details and cannot wait to put on my dream dress and marry my best friend.
  • I crashed my car…the lack of ABS struck again and I had to say goodbye to my little Mazda (RIP Sailor Mars). Thankfully no one was hurt, and my car still ran okay enough to get me to and from work. I wasn’t planning on buying a car until I had enough saved up at the end of this year, but life doesn’t work that way and now I have the cutest Civic that I have named T’Civic (#wakandaforever).
  • Daniel’s car broke. Seriously, 2018 was the year to buy a car.
  • I chopped my hair off! I decided that this was the year to fully embrace my curls. I constantly made the excuse that I didn’t know what to do with my curly hair and that straightening it was just so much easier. My hair was so damaged from applying heat for about 9 years that it no longer had any curl to it. After lots of encouragement from my friend Amira, I put in the work to learn about curly hair and this January, I got my first DevaCut. My hair had such a transformation and I was in shock that my hair could be curly again. I’ve learn to love my natural hair texture and volume, and I still love straight hair, but I love having healthy hair even more.

With all of the life changes I went through, I always wanted to come back to blogging but life kept getting in the way. It also kept getting in the way of school things I still need to tie up, and I’ve noticed that it’s a big source of anxiety right now. I’ve been stumped on things I need to do for myself. I’ve focused so much on showing up for other people that I’ve failed to fulfill commitments I made to myself. And that feeling has been so overwhelming lately. Time has been this weird thing that I use against myself for not doing more every day and punishing myself for watching it pass by.

It took a lot of boundary pushing for me to realize it’s okay to not meet all the expectations for you set for yourself, as long as you remember that you set those expectations in the first place for a reason. After lots of change, I’m back to starting to feel like myself again, and ready to tackle my things in the way I used to: by doing what I can with what I have, not being afraid to ask for help, and to keep a positive attitude above everything.

Recently, I’ve made new connections and friendships that are really exciting to me! I’ve found it difficult to make new friends after college since a lot of my close friends moved away to start their adult lives and everyone is on such different schedules. So it’s been challenging to meet new people who want to do the same fun things I like, but it’s finally happening! I’ve been to wine fest, spontaneous hangouts on weeknights, making dinners for new friends, and I finally was inspired to start up yoga again from an invite I didn’t realize how badly I needed. So that being said, life has been on the up! Despite battles with anxiety, I feel that I am the happiest I have ever been.

I am working on completing my tasks I’ve set for myself, enjoying every step of the wedding process, working on my new friendships and my old ones, setting time for myself to practice yoga, and becoming a better morning person! These feel like attainable goals to set before my 24th year comes to a close next weekend. Happy weekend!

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