(Not so) Happy Holidays

Hey everyone, I haven’t been here in a while, but I want to wish you all Happy Holidays! I’ve finally finished my finals for my first semester of college and I think they went over pretty well. It’s hard to detail everything that’s been going on, because I don’t know how to put it into words, but I’ll try my best.

Starting with my family. Well first of all, I get along with my brother really well, I love getting to see him every weekend and I’m so proud of him and I support him all the way with any endeavors he has He's my other half, and my best friend. So all is good there. I call my sister every week and we have good talks. I miss her so much and I wish she could come home for Christmas Now to my parents. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. But for maybe the past month, every weekend I've come home has been a different problem in which I get lectured at or my parents are just generally unhappy with me. I was called "irresponsible" for having a picture of me and a friend (who is a guy) sitting on my bed. DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE? She knows this friend and I don't know if she just assumes I'm some kind of whore, but is it really any of her business? I don't sleep around but still, that she would infer that at all is rude. Now just yesterday, she doesn't even recall this ever happening! :| Last night, I came home from work after 7 hours, and set up the Christmas tree. When I was done, everyone was asleep and I was on my laptop while watching SNL. My dad wakes up, and criticizes me saying "how can you stay on that thing all night?" What am I supposed to say to that? I just took everything and went to bed because I don't want to get angry in front of people and I have nowhere else to go. All I wanted was to have a good break and I couldn't even have that. I waited until the last possible day to move out of my dorm mostly for the fact that I didn't want to be at my house. It never used to be like this. In high school, there were bad days but I got over them. Now that I'm in college and not at home, it's like I can't do anything right. I don't know what I did, but it seems like I'm just one huge disappointment. I work my job, come home, try to help out when I can and stay respectful. I have let my parents walk all over me before, and I didn't mind one bit. But now, what am I getting out of it? I can't take any of this anymore, I've let all of this sadness and anger build up that I'm afraid of exploding, but it's just so much crap that isn't necessary. Today, I said I was going to go out, but I slept in on accident and now my mom is angry at me, so altogether I just decided not to go out and I plan on spending my days in my room when I'm not at work. There's nothing I feel like I can do to improve this situation, and I just wish my sister was here to help me out.

If I completely disregard that, I'm very happy. I won't go into much detail, but there's a certain person that makes me really happy! We have late night talks, when I’m around other people we can just look at each other and know that we’re thinking the same thing, he makes me laugh, and he’s just generally a good person. I’ve also admitted to my friends that I like him, which always feels nice to say out loud, it makes it more real. I think he likes me back too, so it’s all very cute I bought him Christmas presents, a helicopter, a bubble wrap toy key chain, and a box of chocolates I picked out for him from my store. He got me the supplies to make melted crayon art including the canvas, crayons, hot glue gun and glue, a Spongebob coloring, and 3 months of Netflix. It was just an awesome overall present mostly because he listened to me and knew what I wanted

That’s all I have for now, have a good break, and hope mine gets better.